It’s been a very social week or so for me. I blame the sunshine. We don’t get a lot of it here but for over a week now it’s been completely unnecessary to take a coat, even for the evening. It encourages one to be friendly, even when one is integrally unfriendly, as I am. This has meant I haven’t written for over a week, and as I intended to write at least once a week, this is a faux pas.
The problem with socialising is that it’s not a particularly productive exercise. In preparation for being made redundant, I am trying to write my first novel (alright, second, but the first is the sort of thing that I will insist is burned in my will should I ever become a successful writer) and do a proofreading course. Since the sun made an appearance I have done neither, unless you count writing as snippet each day on my fiction blog or a guilt-driven twenty minute stint on the novel today. I have been feeling very bad about this. However, apart from a party last weekend that was not worth attending, I think I have located something in all my socialisings which made it worthwhile.
Sunday – not so much socialising as watching Andy Murray win Wimbledon. But come on! British champion events come along so irregularly that it’s pretty much a crime to miss out.
Monday – I can’t entirely remember what happened on Monday. Actually I think that one was a wasted day.
Tuesday – went for another run, which was horrific thanks to the hot weather and has made me think that I will have to find something I hate less to ensure I keep up the exercise. Then a friend I haven’t seen properly for a while came over for tea and some drinks. It turns out she is feeling in a similar place to me but more so, and it was nice to remember that, in the words of Alex Dunphy, everyone has their stuff. Sometimes you can get to worrying so much that you forget there is anything beyond your own front door. Also, we sat on the balcony for ages drinking whisky and I felt ultra cosmopolitan.
Wednesday – went to the cinema. And watched The Apprentice. I love both of those things, and it’s nice to participate in the water cooler stuff.
Thursday – was supposed to be going to a barbecue with boyfriend, however it turned out to be boys only so me and my vagina weren’t welcome. Charming. We ended up having a barbecue for two and it was nice to spend proper time together. I think that when you live with someone, day to day gets in the way of the relationship, and it can get to the point where you forget why this guy is so much more you than the sexy guy from work. We got a little drunk and ate a lot and chatted. Lovely. Until we disagreed, he called me narrow-minded and I went to bed in a huff. Oops.
Friday – work drinks! Specifically work drinks for my sexy guy from work friend who is leaving. Pleut. Work drinks are quite serious for me nowadays though as I am very conscious I won’t have them for that much longer. Generally you have your friends and then you also have your work friends, but if my plan to work freelance from home succeeds then I will no longer have work friends, so I’m trying to make sure that everyone that I like is my proper friend before I leave, else I will never see them again. This time was a roaring success, with a guy I have had my eye on (friendshiply) for a while coming back to mine after the pub shut. We chatted till five am, which I am resolved not to feel guilty about because it was brilliant. Though it did break me a bit for yesterday.
Saturday – see above.
The other thing I am constantly reminding myself, especially when I am crying over the infuriatingly persistent feeling that I’ve wasted my life so far, is that one cannot be a writer without interacting with others. All life experience is grist to the mill, right?
Plus, in the pub I got chatting to someone I haven’t seen for ages about my plans and how scared I was, and he reminded me that it’s a good thing that it’s scary because if it wasn’t, everyone would be doing it. Which is an excellent point.
I do need to crack on though. Just as well I’ve taken tomorrow off work. I definitely won’t be using that time to read on the balcony.