Female masturbation was a topic of conversation this week for two reasons. The first is that Good Housekeeping did a test of sex toys. The second was a discussion as to how parents should approach the idea of masturbation with their daughters. I feel like this was on Woman’s Hour, but to be honest I can’t promise.
I don’t think many of us believe that masturbation will send us blind anymore, but nonetheless female masturbation is still quite a taboo topic. It’s hard to think of a specific reason apart from the old studs and slags train of thought, but there was enough shock surrounding the Good Housekeeping test to prove that the metaphorical shudder is not a thing of the past. Or perhaps it was the notion that it’s not just nubile porn actresses that touch themselves. Yikes!
Unlike many topics, female masturbation is not really talked about privately or publicly. It was not something I talked about with my teenage friends and even now there are only a couple of friends I would discuss it with. I can’t imagine my poor mother discussing it with me and to be honest, I baulk at the thought of talking about it with my daughter.
In the discussion about female masturbation, it was suggested that not only should women talk about it with their daughters, but that they should buy their daughters vibrators. I really don’t know how I feel about that. I’m not against vibrators at all, in fact I have several, but I don’t think I could ever have used a vibrator my mum bought me. It’s hard to think of anything less sexy.
I do think it’s important to bring female masturbation more out into the open though, and not in a porn sort of way. It is a really empowering thing to be able to give yourself an orgasm, and there’s no way you should need someone else to do it for you every time you get horny. It’s a real shame that all those people who are keen to stop teenagers having sex don’t extol the virtues of masturbation. Extolling the virtues of celibacy is always fighting a losing battle.
Thankfully I don’t have a daughter yet, but I know that when I do, I’m going to have to find a way to discuss this with her. I don’t want her to feel ashamed of herself when she comes to explore her sexuality, but at the same time I don’t want to be horribly embarrassing. Has anyone else tried this? It might be a long way off but I think I’m going to need all the help I can get!