What I’m thinking about this week is pony play. ‘Who isn’t?’, I hear you cry.
Not just any pony play of course, but this specific pony play, brought to us by some show called My Strange Addiction, which I have never watched. This YouTube video was brought to my attention by some friends of mine that I would charitably call crap connoisseurs.
I have so many thoughts on it but my first one is, why is this an addiction? It doesn’t look like an addiction. It looks like something weird that you like to do. This is fine. I like to peel the batter off Chicken McNuggets with my teeth and eat it separately. It’s weird but I like it. However, I would not say that I am addicted to it. I will do it with every McNugget, but I haven’t had a McNugget for a year and I’ve dodged any horrific withdrawal symptoms. Going a little further, I still like to sleep with my favourite soft toy, and have no plans to give it up, despite the fact that I am nearly thirty and also share the bed with a life partner. Again, I don’t see that as an addiction. An addiction, to confirm, is something that is habit forming, usually but not exclusively bad for you. What this woman is telling us is that she cannot prevent herself from pony playing. That is ridiculous.
My second point is, who cares? Well me, obviously, because I am writing a blog about it! However, I don’t care about the fact that she is ‘addicted’ to pony play. Pony play is of no consequence to me. I care about the idiocy of it. I would never bother to tell anyone about the weird things I like that are definitely not addictions, because they simply aren’t interesting. It isn’t even the fact that she is appearing on television. Throughout the whole clip she has this annoyingly smug expression on her face that says to me that she thinks this addiction makes her interesting. It doesn’t. It makes her ridiculous.
My conjecture is that the whole thing is simply exhibitionism. It’s just a massive look at me, I’m so crazy and (often) sexual. It’s like the people who love objects. I’ve seen a couple of programmes about this, and to be fair, the idea of someone falling in love with an object is interesting to me. It’s not that far away from the attachment we get to soft toys as children (and sometimes still as adults!) and I think it is really interesting psychologically. What is not interesting is to see a woman lying beneath a ferris wheel smearing oil on herself while another lady straddles a fence, both looking really pleased with themselves. Why would you want to do that unless you are an exhibitionist? Another great example going round at the moment is #aftersexselfie. The act of assuming anyone cares that you just had a shag is ridiculous. No one cares after you leave school, and chances are if you’re at school, you’re probably lying.
At least the #aftersexselfie is honest about what it’s doing though. I don’t have a problem with exhibitionism generally, but tell it like it is! Don’t pretend that you are raising awareness, or on a journey of self-discovery. You just want to be looked at. It’s like people wearing nothing on a Friday night who claim they’re just being comfortable. In 10 inch heels and a skin tight playsuit in January? Fuck off!
The ironic thing is that people like this are becoming less and less unusual. There are tons of them out there all willing to bare themselves – literally and metaphorically – before a camera, on a documentary if they are ‘lucky’ on YouTube if they are not. I dread to think what the next step will be if any of them realise that they’re getting a little – dare I say it? – boring. Let’s hope they don’t. YouTube doesn’t need to get any darker!