My Brain Exploded…


I feel I must start with an apology for the absence of my Thursday and Friday blogs last week. You may also have noticed the brevity of my Wednesday blog,

Unfortunately, I had a bit of a burnout and my brain exploded. Even more unfortunately, it wasn’t through cramming in too many things. I have just simply been working too hard. That in itself is a bit of a worry, as I really did drop everything I was doing that wasn’t work for about a fortnight. As such, I have really been thinking about how I can avoid this happening in future.

One thing that I have decided upon is organising my time better. I think I am someone that suits a routine. It helps me to feel like my life rumbling onwards without me having to put too much effort in. So often it feels like every single part of life requires effort from me. It’s tiring and detracts from what I actually want to be doing.

I have also decided to try and schedule my leisure time rather than my work time. For the last couple of weeks I have worked weekends and evenings and felt terrible when I wasn’t working. I am someone that feels a heavy sense of responsibility a lot of the time, as though everything always comes down to me which rationally I know simply isn’t true. As part of that, I am trying to be aware of how much time I am supposed to be working and not doing any more than that.

Becoming self-employed has been good for me. I am paid to write, which is fantastic, although it isn’t entirely the sort of writing I would love to be doing. However, I am struggling with a work/life balance, which I didn’t expect. Or rather, I did expect that I would struggle, but in the opposite direction! I think working at home makes me feel like I am slacking off when I’m not working. It makes me want to have no work so that I can relax, which is not a good thing!

I have decided to drop everything that doesn’t reflect on work, with the exception of exercise. This isn’t just my immediate everyday work, but my other writing, which at least ten people will be delighted to hear does include this blog. Cleverly, this allows me to continue reading and watching TV and films, although forcing me to be a bit more discerning, which isn’t a bad thing. It is sad, but necessarily, and certainly not permanent. I am getting a career off the ground, and now is the right time to be putting the effort in. Just to a slightly more sensible extent!


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