White Knuckle Driving

I have been on holiday! Hence the lack of postings, which of course I feel terrible about. Nothing massively exciting, mainly a tour around England taking in Kent, Wales, Bath, Devon and London. In fact, it’s London I’m going to talk to you about today; specially driving in London.

Oh. My. God. Never before, and never ever again. I am known to be a nervous driver in new situations, but this was the most horrific driving experience I have ever had, and considering that just two days previous my car inexplicably lost all power as I attempted to drive from Bristol to Bath (well ok, I overheated the clutch but I didn’t realise that at the time) and a few hours earlier dealt with what I can only assume is ironically called The Magic Roundabout in Swindon, this is quite a statement.

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The Magic Roundabout

Highlights of the dreadful experience, which occurred Friday rush hour… Well, a taxi suddenly u-turning towards me from the opposite direction was certainly alarming. Also lanes suddenly changing and absolutely no-one finding it in their heart to let me in. The queues! The pedestrians, who seem to think that they will stop my car with brute force, in manner of Superman! The congestion charges! All are absolutely horrendous. Worst by far, however, is the roundabouts.

My understanding of roundabouts is that we give way to the right, turn into the correct lane and then remain in said lane (barring occasional fuck ups) until we turn off, at which point we indicate and exit in a civilised fashion. Not so in London. We lurch out when we see fit, paying zero heed to vehicles that might be approaching, or indeed already there. We pick our lanes at random, regardless of where we should be or where we wish to exit. More than once other cars decided they wished to be exactly where my car was and saw no reason why my car should stand in their way. Most of these cars, unsurprisingly, looked like metal lumps of cellulite. It’s a miracle I, let alone my car made it out alive.

I can never drive in London again. It’s just as well the public transport is so good.

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